1.Akpors and his Teacher
Teacher: Whoever answer my next question correctly can go home.
Upon hearing this, Akpos threw his bag outside through the window.
Teacher: Who threw the bag?
Akpos: Me, can I go home now?
2.A trip to Italy
A Ekaitte (akpor’s wife) goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.
… Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
Ekaittes : ‘Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?’
Akpors: laughs and says: ‘An Italian girl!!!’
The wife kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: ‘So, honey, how was the trip?’
‘Very good, thank you.’ ‘And, what happened to my present?’
‘Which present?’ She asked.
‘The one I asked for – an Italian girl!!’
‘Oh, that’ she said ‘Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for 9 months to see if it
is a girl !!!’
3. Extra-Akpos the Inspector
A woman reporting to the police: Sir, my husband went to by potatoes 5 days ago and he is not back up to now.
inspector Akpos: why not cook something else abi,or is it only potatoes you like to eat.
4.Akpos and the White man
Black man Akpos and a white
man were seated on plane.
Akpos had a bunch of banana, while the
white man had a monkey.
Akpos wanted to go to the toilet, so he
said to the white man “Please watch over
my bananas, while I’m gone”.
He went, came back and found out that the
bananas were all gone. The white man
pointed at the monkey and said, ”your
brother the monkey ate all of them”.
Akpos smiled and said nothing. Minutes
later, the white man said, “Please hold my
monkey while I pee”.
He came back and met the monkey dead.
He asked Akpos what happened and he
replied, “This is a family matter, please stay
out of it!”
5.Barrister Akpors and the Village Farmer
Barrister Akpors who’s gone to the village for Xmas celebration went hunting in a nearby village.
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As Barrister Akpors climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing.
He responded,
“I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I’m going in to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied,
“This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
Arrogant Akpors said,
“I am one of the best trial attorneys in this country, and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything!”
The old farmer smiled and said,
“Apparently, you don’t know how we do things here. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three-Kick Rule.”
Barrister Akpors asked,
“What is the three-Kick Rule?”
The Farmer replied,
“Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
Barrister Akpors quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old farmer.
He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly walked up to him.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into Akpor’s groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly wiped Akpors’ nose off his face.
Barrister Akpors was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
He eventually summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said,
“Okay, you old farmer, now it’s my turn.”
The farmer smiled and said,
“Now, I give up. You can have the duck.”
Read Also: LMAO!!! Read These Funniest Akpors Stories and Forget Your Name (Part 1)
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